My Mother Thinks I'm Always Drunk |
She's also rather fond of exclamation marks, capslock, and, apparently, me. At least she's not on Facebook. |
My mother created this likeness of me.
| Mom: | I sent it to everyone! I sent it to Todd's parents, I sent it to his siblings...It's so funny, it doesn't look anything like Steve Col-burt now though. |
| Me: | Stephen Col-*bair*... |
| Mom: | What? |
| Me: | His name is pronounced Stephen Col-*bair*. |
| Mom: | ...Are we talking about the same person? The guy from The Office. |
| Me: | No! |
| Mom: | Who's that? |
| Me: | That's Steve Carell! |
| Mom: | Well, who's Stephen Colbert then?...Is he from The John Daily Show?... |
| Me: | You mean The Daily Show with Jon Stewart?... |
| And so on. |
In response to an email in which I allude to an attachment that “isn’t there” (really, she just couldn’t find it).
I don’t even know.
In response to the news of an interview with Yoko Ono.
| Me: | Keep in mind that they flip-flop the months and days [in Quebec], so that's December 8th and January 2nd, not August 12th and February 1st... |
| Mom: | What????? How do they make a mistake like that? Sasha dearest, I hope you're right!!!!!! |
In response to…I don’t even know…
In response to my first interview.
In response to an email casually mentioning the discovery of our on-campus farmer’s market.
No, she’s never seen this movie…